My Head Hurts

So I'm lurking the interwebs, and I see two links. The person who provided them claimed that these were the worst two groups IN THE WORLD. Well, I found this quite hard to believe. I mean look at the shit who is out there already:

-Miley Cyrus
-The Jonas Brothers
-Ke$ha
-Owl City
-Hollywood Undead
-Lady GaGa
-Soulja Boy
-Justin Bieber
-Stereos
-Hedley

Well, we all know there are more, but I'm to lazy to type all of this shit down. Anyways though, let's get back to my story shall we?

So the two links sent me to two groups. One was a girl group called: "Millionaires." Even by the group name I could tell my day was going to take a turn for the worse.

The second group consisted of males (theoretically,) and was called "Brokencyde." Well, the name sounded a bit stupid, but so does "Dropkick Murphy's," or "36 Crazyfists," and they're both pretty good bands.

So as I load the two videos, I instantly notice a few things that they share:

-Both groups look like ridiculous scene/hipster assholes.
-The song names are ridiculously stupid.
-The group names are ridiculously stupid.
-The comments below the video were ridiculously stupid.
-AUTOTUNE, AUTOTUNE and more AUTO-FUCKING-TUNAGE.


After watching about one minute of each video, I instantly felt the need to smash my laptop against my wall. However I soon realized that I love her, and decided to cry into a pillow instead.

These videos should be enough to either convert you to good music, kill yourself, reinforce your feelings of love towards metal/rock, or make you hurt innocent things.

Here are the links:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruTqtbiLNAU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMdAbLVdx5U


If you have the balls to make it through the end of this task, I will be more than happy to call you a God.




Tolerance to Shit Game

Easy Mode: 10 seconds.
Normal Mode: 20 seconds.
Hard Mode: 40 seconds.
Extreme Mode: 1 minute, 30 seconds.
"I've had a lobotomy" Mode: 2 minutes.
GOD MODE: Watch that entire fucking video.

You only have to do this for ONE video. Making you watch both would just be mean. You must watch the video and listen simultaneously. Listening with your eyes closed is an instant disqualification.

Good luck you brave motherfuckers.

The Game, The Hangover and the Fact That I Spew Hate

Oh The Game, have you heard of it? It's wonderful you see. Did you just lose it? You know you did. Haha, you just thought of it, and you better have announced it to everyone within close proximity.

I'm so glad that The Game has come along. It's so cool!!!

:)




Fuck that, it's just damn stupid.

"The Game," is simply a large scale way to make every attention craving idiot feel connected. Birds have calls, dipshits have The Game. It wouldn't even be that bad if people actually new where The Game was popularized. Let's call it... Ebaumsworld. Hell, I would even tolerate this stupid shit if they didn't constantly have to say "Herpity derp, I lost the game guys, har har har DERP."

Sweet Christ, if you have not heard of "The Game," until now... count yourself as one of the few lucky humanoids. Don't you dare become one of the blubbering thwarted abortions. Only say "I lost the game," if you're mocking those of which that have the IQ of a banana.


On a side note, The Hangover is amazing. You know of that movie by now I would hope. If you haven't, I would STRONGLY recommend that you go out and buy it. I personally do not often recommend buying a movie, but in this case, I would suggest that you don't just torrent this bastard.

The only potential flaw with The Hangover, is the fact that they are set to release the sequel (cleverly named, The Hangover 2,) in 2011, I believe. The potential flaw in this of course, is the fact that many sequels SUCK. Hopefully this will be an exception to the movie rule, but I am bracing for a flop.

Regardless, I will forever love my satchel.

I've Come to a Conclusion About Teenage Girls (People Make Me Rage)

Ever wonder why teenage girls like Edward Cullen, 95 pound emo guys and highschool football players with the brain power of a shoe? If you have, kudos to you. You're probably not a dumbass.


Question Time


Q - Why do girls like Edward Cullen?

A - Stupidity. Robert Pattinson looks like he's stoned 24/7 and the only thing that works in his favour, is that he plays a character that may seem perfect in a book. Basically people read the stupid book Twilight, get a vag-boner and fall in love with that vampire doucher. Sketchy actor plays said vampire, and makes Miley Cyrus fans wet.


Q - Why do girls like emo/scene guys?

A - I have the theory that girls view them as lifelike dolls. You can put anything on them, and make them look like an asshole, and they won't care at all. As long as they can brood, listen to shitty bands (All Time Low, Thrice, etc.,) and take up bullshit causes like The Emo College Fund, Slit Wrists for Scabies or Silent Screams of the Socially Retarded.

God, I fucking hate you. Fuck the hipsters too.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that people who necessarily look like "emos/scenefucks," are dipshits, it's the one's who try to act like they're above everyone, act like total morons around their peers, brood over how they got the 8GB iPhone instead of the 16GB iPhone ("fuck you mom!,") or they "know the truth," or some other dumbass line like that.


Q - Why do girls go for stupid guys?

A - They like people on the same intellectual platform as them... Calm the fuck down. I'm joking. Honestly though, I think that they like stupid guys for the same reason we all like puppies. They're simple and they make us feel better about ourselves.


This post believe it or not, wasn't inspired by any kind of traumatizing event, where I was spurned or otherwise rejected. In fact, it's just a simple case of my bullshit detector doing cartwheels. It is my only wish that people would wake the fuck up. Stop acting like a prick, and stop trying to impress people. You look like an asshole.

And to those of you who might think that I'm simply posting this to get some kind of a reaction... you're right. I hope to God, that someone provides me with the answers to the aforementioned questions.

Also, I found this to be quite lulzy. Enjoy.

We're All Screwed...

Time to rage.

So I'm assuming anyone who reads this has a window in their house. I also assume that they occasionally look out this window as well. Hopefully I'm not overestimating anyone here. If you have peered out this window, you probably notice that our world is dying.

Yes... dying. By the way, I refuse to make this a goddamn hippy post where I bitch out polluters... because frankly I don't care about it that much.

Anyways, the world: dying. How and why you ask? Well before we get to that part, let me explain in detail what I mean by use of a simple time line.

- Some painter in Germany had an idea.
- World War Two.
- War is over.
- Babies... lots of babies.
- Some people in Asia start doing shit.
- Vietnam.
- George Carlin continues his badassary.
- Some shit happens.
- MTV stops showing music videos.
- Bush Jr.
- Re-elected.
- Carrie Prejean.
- Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus begin the rape of young minds.
- Obama elected because he's "going to change things."
- Tiger Woods' found cheating on wife.
- lol.
- ???


As you've probably noticed by now, I'm somewhat of an optimist... anyways though, whenever I go outside, I know I'm going to see any or all of these things: dumb kids who think they're badass because they wear baggy pants, stupid girls who have over-tanned and look like a foot, and stupid people who text on the phone for ten minutes just to realize they can't remember how to spell 'cellphone.'

That's right, it looks like everyone is becoming more, and more idiotic. Google searches help the dumb, spell 'dumb,' and Paris Hilton is still allowed to be on television. It doesn't help that guidos are by law, allowed to fucking breed.

Honestly, I don't even have the heart to keep typing. so this rage will have to end mid sente...

Facebook

We all know of. We love it and we saw we hate it. And with that, it's very clear some of us, use it far too much.

As a person who has had an account for a little over a year now, I've seen plenty of stupid crap posted by people. Things ranging from wall posts like "lool biiiiitch, were gunna get fucked up tonite! love ya slut!" to requests that ask you to join a group about supporting Fred.

I know right. 2012 cannot come fast enough.

Don't get me wrong though. Facebook can be a pretty great thing, as long as you're not a douchebag. The problem though, is that even if you're not the douchebag... you can be certain that there will be anywhere upwards of ten people on your friends list, that are.

How to Look Like an Ass:

- Continually ask me to join your Mafia, Fantasy Sport League, etc.

- Suggesting me to join groups such as "I flip my pillow over to the cool side."

- Pointless wall posts (We know, that you know, that we can see when you post your dumb shit.) We know there's a party. EVERYONE knows. We're going too. Shut the fuck up already bitch.

- This is largely associated with the third point here: Posting pictures of yourselves at parties. It's ok if you take 5-10 per party if you go all the time, but if you take between 20-100... every party, it gets really, really, really, really, really... redundant...

- Posting status updates every twenty minutes (if not fewer...) This isn't Twitter... And just like Twitter, nobody cares.

- Spamming your blog, Youtube channel, blood type, etc (I don't do it with mine, because if they saw this, they'd realize that I hate most of them.)

- Adding random people and then never responding to them when the send you a message asking who you are. Just fucking answer creep.

- Being alive.


Now as you can undoubtedly see, I am once again correct about everything I've just said....

Let's All Talk About Legalization...

As you all know, there is a certain little thing which is illegal here in Canada, and the US. That would be our friend, marijuana. Yes, a plant which is nearly harmless is illegal, yet people are aloud to get drunk as long as they're 19 (in Canada at least.) Now don't get me wrong, I am not by any way, a pothead. In fact, I'm simply a realist and someone. I know some of the important facts, and I know how people who don't want to control, and exploit us.

These people, are in our governments and our churches. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure most of these people are good at heart, but nonetheless they're grossly uninformed. Some of the ludicrous propaganda that they try to pull off is how marijuana will KILL YOU. I personally have never heard of a single case of that. Weed has less chemicals than cigarettes, alcohol and many other legal substances.

They also try to tell people that pot is addictive and is a gateway drug. Marijuana is NOT addictive... unlike your morning coffee, your afternoon smoke, or even your beer while you're watching the game. To be honest, smoking is more addictive than most things, and many people spend a lot of time trying to get them.

"Marijuana makes you dumb, and lazy." That is absolutely true in some cases. What they don't tell you, is that while it MAY do that, it only does that for a short period of time. In fact, for many people it does something different. It makes people creative, and helps people find new ways to deal with problems. Weed can even bring people together and relieve tension.

Now after reading that you might assume that I think we should have it legalized immediately. Well in fact you're wrong. Many people who lobby for it are simple minded and do not realize that the issue is not black and white. There are many grey areas for sure.

On the one had there are the benefits: not addictive, can stimulate the mind, can relieve stress and can be used medicinally.

The dark side of this is often ignored by lobbyists. Many people realize that even if it's just pot smoke, it is still smoke, and therefore is harmful to the body. Also many people who smoke the chronic are smart, but it's the people who abuse it, that make me slightly pissed off. They're the ones who give the governments and the soccer moms something to bitch about.

I mean, even if we were to legalize it, we would still need some type of law. In my opinion they would need an age limit somewhat like the one on alcohol. The problem with that is kids will still get their hands on it, just like cigarettes and just like alcohol.

Now I realize that this post is random and something unlike I've ever written on here before (oh and I also realize that no one reads it,) but I felt compelled to write. It's that many people don't look at it from the oppositions perspective.

Why Do You Care?

Every single day there is another story in the news, or on the television about some spoiled rich person in Hollywood who are in some type of "distress." By distress of course this means, they are in the hospital because they got a papercut, or now have a charity campaigning for them because they don't have enough money for the Ferrari. Yeah I know, who the fuck would want to settle for a plain old Lamborghini?

Seriously though, there are everyday people who have a lot bigger problems than those that are on our front pages, and five o'clock specials everyday. People who are having there homes foreclosed or are forced into things everyday are simply an afterthought. That is, if they're even thought of, of course.

What I mean in today's rant, is that I could really give less of a shit if Donald Trump has built another mansion. It's not relevant to any of us if you think about it. What's even worse is when people actually go out of their way to make a fuss out of something that doesn't affect them. The most famous instance of this that I can think of, is when amateur pornstar (let's just be honest, it's like the most productive thing that's she's ever done,) Paris Hilton was released from jail, there were hundreds of dumb preteen-future-bitches waiting with posters and crying because the Great Paris Hilton, was out prison.

They had a good point for wanting her released. What she did wasn't all that bad. Wait... what did she get sent in for?

Oh right, because she was driving recklessly while being drunk. I guess you'd be dropping your pathetic little posters if she was doing 90 in a school zone at the time... hypocrite fuckers.

As usual, I'm right about all of what I've mentioned. If it was you or your friend who had done that, get ready to spend the next year or two in a cosey jail cell with "Big Mike." Oh and I hope you're not in need of a new heart anytime in the near future. If your name doesn't rhyme with Pilton, or Gohan (lol... Dragon Dragonball...) expect to get those affairs in order.

Most of us are like ants. We all work for some fat bitch that decided she was our Queen. Eventually you are going to get stepped when you venture outside.

O HAI, THNX FUR R3ADING. K BAI!

Wow isn't that title just annoying and stupid?

Wait, I'll answer. Of course it's stupid. It's the stupid art of trying to be ironically bad at spelling...

It's also stupid because the people who would write that title (and take it seriously of course,) are stupid. These are the people who drop our IQ's and will eventually make us want to kill ourselves.

Great you're still reading. K THNX!

Anyways... if you haven't figured it out yet, let me introduce you to emo's. Yes... emo's. Now as you might know, I'm not one to EVER make fun of anyone, or call someone stupid... nah but seriously, the majority of people who consider themselves to be an "emo," or as being "scene," are usually from the cosey world of suburbia and most likely watch too many MTV specials.



Don't you just feel really bad for that guy in the picture? Yeah you do... because you're a pussy. Just look at. Take away the skinny jeans and the pair of VANS, and you've essentially got yourself a Daniel Radcliff prototype. See it's simple bullshit like that, which makes people think that they're something that they are just not. Just because you dress like you're sad and depressed, doesn't mean that you are. That's something you need to FEEL.

Oh but wait a minute. Aren't emos known to be sensitive and write deep poetry?

Well yeah, if you consider poetry to be shit about how mommy wouldn't buy you a pony when you were six and how that act of "abandonment," has caused you to feel unloved. If this is considered to be real life drama, then I have a sad story about how I nearly failed art in the seventh grade because I thought the class was stupid and pointless. That tear jerker, will be saved for another day though.

Furthermore, you can't consider yourself to be emo just because you listen to My Funeral for a Friend or Thursday, doesn't mean that you're emo. It simply means that you're somewhat tone deaf.

Now on the otherhand, "These Children Who Have it so Rough," do have a few things that are simply, pretty awesome. They have the awesome quality of having NO SHAME WHATSOEVER.

Think about it...

They cry for no apparent reason.
They dress all alike, in an attempt to be nonconformists.
The guys wear eyeliner.
Some of the girls look like guys... on purpose.
They write things LKE THY FAIL3D THRD GRAD... again, on purpose.

They sound like attention whores, don't they? Again, I'll answer because you're too slow. Yes, yes they sound like attention whores.

The second thing that they have... are hot emo girls.



Yeah, I know right. I would too.

Seriously though, maybe it's like a side affect from too many My Chemical Romance concerts, but a lot of emo/scene chicks are hot. What's great about this, is that their emo guy friends are usually too involved in themselves to notice. If you've got any common sense at all, you'll realize that this is great for the rest of us who haven't spent too much time in front of our microwaves.

Now before I end this I just want to clear the air about my rant. I understand if you are sad and depressed because life has been a bitch to you so far. Whether this means your dad drinks too much, or your friends are never there for you or how the doctor fucked up your circumcision, dress in black and cutting yourselves won't make it go away. You just look like a tool.

Shut the fuck up and get a job if you feel worthless.

Feel better? If not, look at that second picture for about four seconds. Boobs make everything better.

BAI! xXx K THNX!

SKE3T SKE3T... =3

I would like to start off by saying,

Biggie Smalls... Biggie Smalls... Biggie Smalls...


"Swine Flu"
So this little Mexican menace is supposed to be so goddamn deadly? Well I haven't met anybody who has it... have you? No jackass, you haven't. You know why you haven't. Swine flu is like the moon landing. It didn't happen, so move on and continue with your life... oink oink.

Now here is what pisses me off (okay the thing that pisses me off at the moment...) On almost every single YouTube video there is at least one prepubescent nine year old boy from somewhere in California who decides to be a "rebel," by posting this little statement,

lizzysk8er (3 hours ago)

Marked as spam

Reply Not Spam

u say Flo Rida i say OZZY
u say miley cyrus i say kill her
u say katy perry i say fuck her
u say high school musical i say kill them all
u say rap i say SUCK IT!
u say hip hop i say slipknot
u say kanye west i say cradle of filth
u say T. Pain i say ha! your in jail
say Akon i say trivium
94% of kids prefer rap to other music. :-P if your one of the awesome 6% that still loves to headbang copy and paste this to three pure rock videos.

Wow goddamnit, I have no idea why this pisses me off so much (because I'm slowly becoming insane?) but every time I see it I want to punch LiL Wayne in the liver...

We all know that Slipknot is a good band, but come on dumbass, you make every Slipknot, Disturbed, Bring Me the Horizon, All That Remains and any other band that you mention look slightly well... retarded.

In Conclusion:

• I hate most people
• Swine Flu needs to stop taking it's time
• 99% of people are idiots who can't be creative and feel the need to post false statistics on YouTube to compensate for an over sized ego and by doing so make me want to punch myself (... and your dog... just kidding PETA,) in the eye just so I don't need to keep looking at your statement or this run-on sentence... so if you're in the 1% of people who can think for themselves (by the way, stop that immediately,) then please promise to never, ever post one of those lame comments.