Someone PLEASE Save the WWE

I got back to watching the WWE about ten months ago after a near two year hiatus... and boy have I been primarily underwhelmed. Gone are the days of interesting storylines, diverse matches and captivating "Superstars." Instead we're given the same old show every Monday and Friday. Episodes of Raw and SmackDown have essentially regressed to this basic formula:

• forty minutes of wrestling ranging from completely uninteresting to semi-interesting

• ten minutes of The Shield cutting a goofy promo and/or putting on a very good match

• ten minutes of recapping the previous episode

• ten minutes of John Cena talking about "hustle" while Ryback breathes maniacally

• five minutes of Sheamus saying "fella" and/or having lame tag team matches with Randy Orton

• ten minutes of Paul Heyman being annoying, but actually being pretty entertaining

• five minutes of Fan(nnnnnn)dan(nnnnnn)go(oooooooo) dancing with Summer Rae, which is starting to get a little old

• ten minutes of Kane and Daniel Bryan having semi-decent tag team matches usually preceded by Daniel having a temper tantrum like an 11 year old

• ten minutes of Alberto Del Rio and Jack "I've Been Hit in the Head With a Shovel and It's Quite Evident in More Ways Than One" Swagger arguing about 'Murrica

• five minutes of Tensai looking awkward as fuck while dancing with Brodus Clay which is ended by losing a boring match

• ten minutes of reminding us that the WWE app is a thing, reminders to follow WWE on Twitter and commercials for WWE brand abortions movies

• five minutes of Damien Sandow calling the WWE fans stupid (he's right, you know) and then getting his shit stomped by Sheamus, Orton, Jericho, etc.

That's pretty sad considering how much talent they really have but are not utilizing properly. Let's start with Brodus Clay and Tensai. These two dancing clowns look absolutely ridiculous. JBL is 100% correct when he refers to them as "giant dancing tomatoes" when they come to the ring after stealing the wardrobe from an unfortunate Armenian family (this part is just my assumption.) Instead of being terrible dancers, these guys could be absolutely great monster heels. Whether this comes in the form of a tag team, or as individuals - both could be very interesting.

Randy Orton - Easily one of the most talented guys on the roster. He hasn't really been a part of anything interesting lately though. Sure he's had some decent matches with Big Show, Mark Henry and Sheamus but they didn't really amount to anything. Orton should really go back to being a heel and should even perhaps go after the Intercontinental or US Championship to bring back some credibility to the belts. Orton as a face isn't entirely satisfying. Let's just be honest - the guys just looks like an asshole and can play the part very well.

Kane - What. A. Joke... once the most feared guy on the roster, the Big Red Machine has become nothing more than a sad wreck. His new mask looks like someone attached an elephant hymen to his face and his pussified new character is just plain cringeworthy. He's no longer a legitimate contender for one of the top belts, but he'd be great as either the US or Intercontinental Championship. And what about this for a storyline - Kane vs Randy Orton: Orton turns heel and starts periodically attacking Kane claiming that he will do so every week until The Undertaker accepts a match at Wrestlemania 30. At Wrestlemania, Orton will break "The Streak" allowing The Undertaker to retire while propelling Orton to an instant championship contender.

Wade Barrett - He's got the look, he's got the talent and he's got that condescending little way about him, which I personally love. He should be getting way better matches and would look great in the championship title hunt. Instead of forcing guys like Jack Swagger down our throats, why not give Barrett a shot? He's much more gifted on the mic and frankly, he doesn't look like he's got a mild case of autism.

Ryback - You've got the look, but you're awful on the mic. This is where Paul Heyman should come in. He's got Lesnar, CM Punk and now Curt Axel. How awesome would it be to have them as a super-stable? Think about it - Punk and Lesnar could own the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship, respectively while Axel and Ryback could make for a nasty tag team or legitimate secondary champions. Eventually, Ryback could turn face (like Batista did as a member of Evolution) and take on Lesnar for his belt (allowing Brock to take another hiatus.)

The Great Khali - I don't even know what to say...

Kofi Kingston - One of the most athletic athletes seen in the ring since Shelton Benjamin (please come back, just without the hair dye.) Kingston could be really fun as a heel, but even more so as a hardcore style wrestler (like Rob Van Dam) who has good technical ability. I don't see him with one of the two major belts, but he's good with a secondary belt or as part of an entertaining tag team (Kingston and Daniel Bryan could be entertaining.)

Why do I even bother to come back?

Most importantly, the WWE needs to stop with this PG crap. I get WHY they're doing it (all about that profit, dolla dolla) but it's really a sad product. I don't think there really is a place for guys like Stone Cold in today's wrestling unfortunately, but it's not THAT, that is the problem. There used to be so much depth back in the Attitude Era. Sure, what everyone remembers most is the McMahon/Austin feud, The Rock, Mick Foley (and his alter-egos) and DX, but there were wrestlers like - (non pussified) Kane, The Undertaker, Kurt Angle, The Dudleyz, Ken Shamrock, The Hardyz, The APA, an actual Divas Division, a great Tag Team Division and many others who made the promotion great.