Silly Slut, You're Not a Duck - You're a Slut!

To start things off, let's get a haiku up in this bitch.

Kill yourself now please,
Divide yourself by zero,
Prepare your anus.

Shakespeare was a classy devil if I do say so myself.


Anyways, this brings me to my inevitable rant. Today, let's cuntpunch a social disease. I'm sure you've guessed by now (if not read the title, dipshit,) that we're going to talk about "ducklips."

As defined by some guy on urbandictionary.com:

Ducklips -

Where one's lips look like a duck's bill(beak). Most scenefags [sic] make kissing faces while they take endless pictures of themselves and post them at various places on the internet. They think it looks really cool, but they actually look like an ugly ass duck. It looks really AWFUL, and makes me wan't [sic] to destroy the internet because so many people are doing it.


You see, I rather like this guy. I like his hateful spirit enough that I won't rip on his improper use of an apostrophe. However, I must say that it is not only "scenefags," who spread this mouth cancer around the internet. Oh, it's much worse. Every idiot with a Nikon does this. Apparently looking like you're in the middle of an enema is attractive, and guys will want you.

Here's a tip: I'm a guy. Trust me; we all think you look stupid. The only guy's who get a chub from seeing them are morons, and borderline furries. Needless to say, both groups are fucked beyond belief.

Look, I know that I'm not a model and no, I haven't taken any classes on fashion or anything, nut I think I can make a fair assessment of what makes someone look like an idiot. So with that being said, we must now try and figure out WHY, someone would intentionally try to make themselves look like they just sucked on *insert your own example here, ________________.

Personally I think it just comes down to people being insecure. A lot of people (and by this I mean teenage girls with a Facebook account,) feel like they're not pretty enough, or that people are judging them. Now, to be fair the latter is 100% true. I won't try to bullshit you by saying people aren't THAT shallow. I'm a realist, not a FOX reporter. On the other hand, a lot of these girls who make the duck-face, are actually pretty attractive. So why is it that the hot chicks are insecure? Is it due to their parents not giving them enough attention or something? LOL NO! It's actually because they're stupid. No seriously - it's that simple.

Fucking fuck. Just stop making making idiotic faces, okay? I swear you're mouth looks like an aliens asshole when you do it.


Also, watch these two videos SIMULTANEOUSLY. Your face will melt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLx60TZ9_T8
http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=otphq5MuVqA